Tallis as a Vehicle of Gratitude and a Reminder of Death

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Caption: body of former Israeli army's chief rabbi, Avihai Ronsky, on April 1, 2018. 

Tallis as a Vehicle of Gratitude and a Reminder of Death

I had just finished my pre-shacharis meditation. I said the birkas ha’mitzvah on my tallis, which I wrapped around my head, shoulders, and upper body, as I do every morning. While still enwrapped, I was suddenly filled with a rush of gratitude. I felt grateful to Hashem for commanding us in mitzvos like tzitzis as tools of zechirah (remembering) to save us from the perpetual threat of shichechah (forgetting). In contrast to non-Jews, who are left to their own devices and practice – like the meditation I had just done – we Jews are obligated in a regimen designed to foster awakening, mindfulness, and true human development.

Upon experiencing these feelings, I decided I’d try a new experiment: every day, right after saying the berachah and wrapping myself in my tallis, I would take a Sacred Pause to reflect on my gratitude to Hashem for all mitzvos. I then laughed at the unoriginality of what I had just proposed upon realizing that this is exactly why Ezra and his Beis Din instituted a birkas ha’mitzvah in the first place! My “experiment” was nothing more than an intentional following through with what halacha had already prescribed.

I shared these thoughts with my chavrusa, noting that tallis is the perfect vehicle for this reflection because tzitzis were designed to remind us of all mitzvos. My chavrusa added: “Not only that, but your tallis is like a hug!” That comment, strange as it may sound to some, inspired me to add an element to my experiment. 

In Radical Compassion, Tara Brach shares a “hugging meditation” developed by Thich Nhat Hanh. The two partners begin by embracing each other fully and mindfully. While in the embrace, they take three deep breaths together. During the first breath they each reflect: "I am going to die." During the second: "You are going to die." And during the third: "And we have just these precious moments together."

I decided that while I was wrapped in my tallis, reflecting on my gratitude to Hashem for  mitzvos, I would take three deep breaths. During the first I would reflect: “I, who have been granted this life of mitzvos, am going to die.” During the second: “You, all the other people in my life, are going to die.” And during the third: “And we have just these precious moments together to live this life enriched by mitzvos.”

I then realized that the tallis, itself, is a reminder of mortality, on account of the minhag to bury Jewish males in their tallis. Although there is a machlokess whether this tallis should or should not have tzitzis (see Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 351:2), this has no bearing on the memento mori association to the tallis itself. Additionally, there are Gemaras which explicitly relate the mitzvah of tzitzis to the awareness that we will one day be niftar (i.e. dead and rendered exempt from mitzvos), such as Berachos 18a:

R’ Chiyya and R’ Yonasan were walking in a cemetery and the techeiles of R’ Yonasan’s [tzitzis] was cast to the ground [and dragging across the graves]. R’ Chiyya said: Lift it, so [the dead] will not say, “Tomorrow they will come to us, and now they are insulting us?”

This is the current incarnation of my tallis experiment. My hope is that this practice will enhance my overall gratitude to Hashem for the life of mitzvos He has given me, and that this appreciation will set the tone for my davening and for how I experience the rest of my day. After doing this every morning for a whole week (and counting), I can say that if the only moment of kavanah I manage to have in my entire shacharis is this three-breath pause for gratitude and reflection on the preciousness of this one life of mitzvos I have been given, then the experiment was well worth it.

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If you would like to sponsor an article, shiur, or podcast episode, or if you are interested in enlisting my services as a teacher or tutor, you can reach me at rabbischneeweiss at gmail.com. Thank you to my listeners for listening, thank you to my readers for reading, and thank you to my supporters for supporting my efforts to make Torah ideas available and accessible to everyone. 

Be sure to check out my YouTube channel and my podcasts: "The Mishlei Podcast", "The Stoic Jew" Podcast, "Rambam Bekius" Podcast, "Machshavah Lab" Podcast, "The Tefilah Podcast"  For the full guide to all of my Torah content, click here. 

The Induction of Metaphysical Trauma

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Artwork: Eliminate, by Rovina Cai

The Induction of Metaphysical Trauma

This morning I read the following idea from Rav Soloveitchik about the uniquely Jewish phenomenon of aveilus yeshanah (mourning a past tragedy), as opposed to aveilus chadashah (mourning a present loss):

A Jew lives with a unique time consciousness. He experiences time not in the standard tripartite division of past, present, and future; rather, all three dimensions converge into a single integrated existence. This unique orientation toward time enables a Jew to pre-experience events of the distant future and to relive occurrences of the ostensibly dead past … A Jew has the unique capacity to relive past tragedies and to experience them anew as if the wounds were still fresh. As a result, the abiding sentiments of grief, the resulting sense of void, and the hopeless feelings of groping in the dark are felt just as powerfully when mourning for past events.

I am in the middle of reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. One of the key characteristics of trauma is the reexperiencing of past events as though they are happening in the present. Van der Kolk writes: “Long after the actual event has passed, the brain may keep sending signals to the body to escape a threat that no longer exists.”

In this sense, aveilus yeshanah is metaphysical trauma. It is “trauma” in that it is a reexperiencing of a painful event from the remote past as though it were happening in the present. It is “metaphysical” in that its aim is the perfection of the soul, as opposed to psychological or neurological functions. This aim is reflected in the Rambam’s statement about the purpose of all national fast days in Hilchos Taaniyos 5:1:

There are days on which all of Israel fasts because of the catastrophes that occurred on them, in order to awaken the hearts [of the people] and to open the paths of teshuvah (repentance). This will be a remembrance of our corrupt actions and the corrupt actions of our fathers that were like our actions today, which ultimately reached the point that [these corrupt actions] caused these catastrophes for them and for us. Through the remembrance of these matters we will return to do good, as it stated: “they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers” (Vayikra 26:40).

This Rambam underscores a key point: the metaphysical trauma of aveilus yeshanah must be artificially induced. In aveilus chadashah, which is triggered by the death of a close relative, grief is a natural reaction which is then harnessed and directed within the framework of the laws of mourning. In aveilus yeshanah, the natural reaction of grief is no longer extant; the catastrophic events we mourn happened so long ago that they have faded from our national consciousness. Instead, the mourning customs and laws we observe during The Three Weeks, The Nine Days, and Tishah b’Av are designed to awaken, generate, and cultivate a sense of tragic loss. It is from those “abiding sentiments of grief, the resulting sense of void, and the hopeless feelings of groping in the dark” that the real work of national teshuvah can begin.

This is another feature which makes aveilus yeshanah a uniquely Jewish phenomenon. The world views trauma in an entirely negative light. Trauma is something to be avoided or gotten rid of at any cost. Who in their right mind would seek out trauma? Ironically, the answer is: one who seeks to be in their right mind. Only the Jew, who lives not for the body but for the soul, will artificially induce a painful state of trauma each year for the sake of teshuvah. Only the Jew sees teshuvah as essential for the life of mind.

[1] excerpted from the Reshimot of Rabbi Menachem Genack in the appendix of The Koren Mesorat HaRav Kinot

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If you've gained from what you've learned here, please consider contributing to my Patreon at www.patreon.com/rabbischneeweiss. Alternatively, if you would like to make a direct contribution to the "Rabbi Schneeweiss Torah Content Fund," my Venmo is @Matt-Schneeweiss, and my Zelle/Chase QuickPay and PayPal are mattschneeweiss at gmail.com. Even a small contribution goes a long way to covering the costs of my podcasts, and will provide me with the financial freedom to produce even more Torah content for you. 

If you would like to sponsor an article, shiur, or podcast episode, or if you are interested in enlisting my services as a teacher or tutor, you can reach me at rabbischneeweiss at gmail.com. Thank you to my listeners for listening, thank you to my readers for reading, and thank you to my supporters for supporting my efforts to make Torah ideas available and accessible to everyone. 

Be sure to check out my YouTube channel and my podcasts: "The Mishlei Podcast", "The Stoic Jew" Podcast, "Rambam Bekius" Podcast, "Machshavah Lab" Podcast, "The Tefilah Podcast"  For the full guide to all of my Torah content, click here.