Parashas Vaeschanan: The Loneliness of the Jew

This is a write-up of an idea that my Mishlei rebbi told me. Originally posted in July 2013.

Parashas Va'eschanan: The Loneliness of the Jew

In Parashas Va'eschanan, Moshe Rabbeinu exhorts Bnei Yisrael to observe the mitzvos upon entering and settling the Eretz Yisrael. He begins by reminding the Jews of an incident still fresh in their memory:

Now, O Israel, listen to the decrees and to the ordinances that I teach you to perform, so that you may live, and you will come and possess the Land that Hashem, the God of your forefathers, gives you. You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor shall you subtract from it, to observe the commandments of Hashem, your God, that I command you. Your eyes have seen what Hashem did with Baal-peor, for every man that followed Baal-peor - Hashem, your God, destroyed him from your midst. But you who cling to Hashem, your God - you are all alive today. [1]

Next, he proceeds to describe how the surrounding nations will view them if they keep the mitzvos properly:

See I have taught you decrees and ordinances, as Hashem, my God, has commanded me, to do so in the midst of the Land to which you come, to possess it. You shall safeguard and perform them, for it is your wisdom and discernment in the eyes of the nations, who shall hear all these decrees and who shall say, "Surely a wise and discerning people is this great nation!" For which is a great nation that has a God Who is close to it, as is Hashem, our God, whenever we call to Him? And which is a great nation that has righteous decrees and ordinances, such as this entire Torah that I place before you this day?

Moshe tells us that if we keep the mitzvos correctly, the goyim will admire us in three ways: (1) they will see that we are a wise and discerning nation, (2) they will realize that we, as a nation, are unique in that we enjoy a special, providential relationship with God, and (3) they will recognize that we live a life of righteousness.

My rebbi raised a basic question on Moshe's entire approach: Who cares what other people think? Why does Moshe place so much emphasis on how the goyim will view us? Is that really why we should keep the mitzvos? Should we really measure our value by the opinion of the surrounding nations?

My rebbi answered that Moshe is responding to an emotion that Bnei Yisrael were destined to feel once they settled in the land. That emotion is loneliness. Ahm Yisrael is destined to be different than all other people. Our ways are different from their ways and our values and ideas do not conform theirs. This difference is bound to make us feel isolated, rejected, and alone.

Moshe was the leader of Klal Yisrael. He witnessed and facilitated the birth of the nation through Yetzias Mitzrayim. He was the agent through whom the Torah was given, which forever altered the national destiny of the Jewish people. He shepherded them for 40 years in the desert, overseeing their arduous developmental journey until this point. Now, on the threshold of their entry into the Land, he knew that they would be faced with a new challenge: the challenge of living a unique lifestyle in the face of all the nations.

Moshe foresaw what we, with the advantage of historical hindsight, have seen play itself out for the past 3,000 years of our history until this day. Throughout the ages, the nation of Israel has struggled with a feeling of national loneliness. We cannot help but be self-conscious of the differences between ourselves and our neighbors. Theorize all you want about the roots of this emotion, but it is there, and it is inescapable.

There is only one antidote to loneliness. Not companionship, not affection, but acceptance. One must feel accepted by other people in order to overcome one's loneliness. [3] The lonely individual will seek acceptance at any cost.

Moshe knew there are only two ways that Bnei Yisrael would seek acceptance. The incorrect way - and, unfortunately, the easiest way - is to modify Torah to conform to the norms of the society. Ultimately, this approach will necessitate either adding or subtracting to the Torah, thereby violating the system of 613 mitzvos. This is precisely why Moshe reminds Bnei Yisrael about what happened to them the last time they attempted to assimilate into the surrounding culture in this manner (i.e. the incident with Baal-peor). All such attempts to "fit in" with the goyim by compromising Torah-observance are destined to end in destruction.

So, what is the correct way to earn acceptance from the goyim? By becoming an ohr l'amim (light onto the nations). [3] This is why Moshe Rabbeinu assures Bnei Yisrael that if they keep Torah properly, not only will the goyim accept them, but they will look up to them as role models. The goyim will laud them for their wisdom and understanding, for their closeness to Hashem (as evidenced by His hashgachah pratis over them), and for the justice and righteousness exemplified by Bnei Yisrael in the way they live. When this happens, the feelings of national loneliness will dissolve.

This lesson is just as relevant for us individuals as it is for the entire nation. As Jews, each of us will feel this existential sense of loneliness at some point - perhaps at many points - in our lives.

Sometimes, this feeling is easy to deal with, but at other times, it can be crippling. Nobody likes to feel unaccepted or rejected by the world at large.

We, too, are faced with the same two approaches to seeking acceptance: either compromise our adherence to Torah in an attempt to fit in with our surrounding culture, or embrace Torah and live up to its ideals, thereby winning the recognition and admiration of our non-Jewish peers. The crossroads of these two paths is the decision about whether to modify the system of Torah and its mitzvos.

As a wise man once said, "we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." The road to acceptance set forth by Moshe Rabbeinu is far from easy. One must learn and live Torah to the extent to which wisdom, justice, and hashgachah are manifest in one's life. But even if we do not achieve this ideal level in whole, we can at least achieve it in part. To the extent that we come to embody the three qualities mentioned by Moshe Rabbeinu, we can overcome that feeling of existential loneliness, enjoy the benefits that the Torah has to offer, and be a light unto the rest of mankind.

[1] Sefer Devarim, Chapter 4
[2] I know what some of you might be thinking. "Shouldn't a person just undo the need for loneliness altogether?" I have two responses to this: (1) Moshe Rabbeinu is talking to the entire nation of Bnei Yisrael, and most of them (read: us) will probably never be on the level to undo our need for acceptance; (2) even great tzadikim feel an existential sense of loneliness, and I suspect that Moshe's words have relevance to them as well.
[3] cf. Sefer Yeshayahu 51:4. Little do people realize that the real phrase in the pasuk is not "ohr l'amim" but "l'ohr amim." Whatevs.