Tallis as a Vehicle of Gratitude and a Reminder of Death

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Caption: body of former Israeli army's chief rabbi, Avihai Ronsky, on April 1, 2018. 

Tallis as a Vehicle of Gratitude and a Reminder of Death

I had just finished my pre-shacharis meditation. I said the birkas ha’mitzvah on my tallis, which I wrapped around my head, shoulders, and upper body, as I do every morning. While still enwrapped, I was suddenly filled with a rush of gratitude. I felt grateful to Hashem for commanding us in mitzvos like tzitzis as tools of zechirah (remembering) to save us from the perpetual threat of shichechah (forgetting). In contrast to non-Jews, who are left to their own devices and practice – like the meditation I had just done – we Jews are obligated in a regimen designed to foster awakening, mindfulness, and true human development.

Upon experiencing these feelings, I decided I’d try a new experiment: every day, right after saying the berachah and wrapping myself in my tallis, I would take a Sacred Pause to reflect on my gratitude to Hashem for all mitzvos. I then laughed at the unoriginality of what I had just proposed upon realizing that this is exactly why Ezra and his Beis Din instituted a birkas ha’mitzvah in the first place! My “experiment” was nothing more than an intentional following through with what halacha had already prescribed.

I shared these thoughts with my chavrusa, noting that tallis is the perfect vehicle for this reflection because tzitzis were designed to remind us of all mitzvos. My chavrusa added: “Not only that, but your tallis is like a hug!” That comment, strange as it may sound to some, inspired me to add an element to my experiment. 

In Radical Compassion, Tara Brach shares a “hugging meditation” developed by Thich Nhat Hanh. The two partners begin by embracing each other fully and mindfully. While in the embrace, they take three deep breaths together. During the first breath they each reflect: "I am going to die." During the second: "You are going to die." And during the third: "And we have just these precious moments together."

I decided that while I was wrapped in my tallis, reflecting on my gratitude to Hashem for  mitzvos, I would take three deep breaths. During the first I would reflect: “I, who have been granted this life of mitzvos, am going to die.” During the second: “You, all the other people in my life, are going to die.” And during the third: “And we have just these precious moments together to live this life enriched by mitzvos.”

I then realized that the tallis, itself, is a reminder of mortality, on account of the minhag to bury Jewish males in their tallis. Although there is a machlokess whether this tallis should or should not have tzitzis (see Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 351:2), this has no bearing on the memento mori association to the tallis itself. Additionally, there are Gemaras which explicitly relate the mitzvah of tzitzis to the awareness that we will one day be niftar (i.e. dead and rendered exempt from mitzvos), such as Berachos 18a:

R’ Chiyya and R’ Yonasan were walking in a cemetery and the techeiles of R’ Yonasan’s [tzitzis] was cast to the ground [and dragging across the graves]. R’ Chiyya said: Lift it, so [the dead] will not say, “Tomorrow they will come to us, and now they are insulting us?”

This is the current incarnation of my tallis experiment. My hope is that this practice will enhance my overall gratitude to Hashem for the life of mitzvos He has given me, and that this appreciation will set the tone for my davening and for how I experience the rest of my day. After doing this every morning for a whole week (and counting), I can say that if the only moment of kavanah I manage to have in my entire shacharis is this three-breath pause for gratitude and reflection on the preciousness of this one life of mitzvos I have been given, then the experiment was well worth it.

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